DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
>
>
>40-ish.............................................49
>Adventurous.................Slept with all your mates
>Athletic......................................No t*ts
>Average looking...............Has a face like an a*se
>Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
>Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills
>Educated...................Was f*cked to bits at Uni'
>Emotionally Secure......................On medication
>Feminist..........................................Fat
>Free spirit....................................Junkie
>Friendship first..........................Former sl*t
>Fun..........................................Annoying
>Gentle...........................................Dull
>Good Listener................................Autistic
>New-Age............................Body hair problems
>Old-fashioned.........................No BJs or a*al
>Open-minded.................................Desperate
>Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
>Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk
>Poet.......................................Depressive
>Professional....................................B*tch
>Romantic.......................................Frigid
>Social.....................Fanny like a clowns pocket
>Voluptuous...................................Very Fat
>Large lady.................................Hugely Fat
>Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker
>Widow.........................................Murderer
>
>
>WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
>1. Yes = No
>2. No = Yes
>3. Maybe = No
>4. We need = I want..
>5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
>6. We need to talk = I need to complain
>7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
>8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
>9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
>10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
>11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
>12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
>13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
>14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
>15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
>16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
>17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on
>TV
>18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really
not
>going to like!
>
>
>MEN'S ENGLISH:
>1. I am hungry = I am hungry
>2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
>3. I am tired = I am tired
>4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
>5. I love you = Let's have sex now
>6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
>7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
>8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
>9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
>10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
>11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
>12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to
>have sex with you
>13.You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex
>with you within the next 3 mins.
>14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a
>deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.
>15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay